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These jokes are to laugh at ourselves, so please do not take offense.
"Since all phenomena, is a product of one's own mind, empty of meaning,
like a magician's illusion,
having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one might
burst out in laughter."
- Longchenpa, 13th century Tibetan monk.
Subject: What I need is a list of specific unknown problems
we will encounter!
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 19:50:31 +0000
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/ Hi!
The new Photo links page is getting 200 hits a day already! Continue to
tell your friends to stop by, and thank you! Send in your jokes and picture
links! Drop a line and let me know what's new with you, too.
Have a magic day and forward it.
Magic Mike http://funandmagic.com/photolinks.htm
Here's some more goodies.
Anemo
Page turn
Sombrero Galaxy
Dilbert Contest Quotes
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were
looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.
Here are some of the submissions:
1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken nextWednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning entry; Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation in Redmond, WA)
2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)
3. How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? (Programming intern, Microsoft IIS Development team)
4. E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should
be used only for company business. (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company)
5. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS)
6. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them. (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing /3M Corp.)
7. My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected. (CIO of Dell Computers)
8. Quote from the boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what 'I' say." (Mktg. executive, Citrix Corporation)
9. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping Executive, FTD Florists)
10. We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. (AT&T Lone Lines Division)
11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying, "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
12. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New Business Mgr., Hallmark Cards)
13. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR Director's office, and was told that the executive VP wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for "perverts" (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired, with the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR Manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send to my boss, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out, directing us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy, I created my resignation letter by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)
14. This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated memo from a large communications company: "Lucent Technologies is endeavorily determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supercede, the expectations of quality!"Subject: How hot was it?
Date: Thu, 30 Jul 1998 00:14:48 +0000
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/
To: "Magic Mike B and bcc's" <mmb/
Hi!
How hot is it? Shadows were sticking to the sidewalk! Shade was being sold
by the minute. People would get in a line by a tree and wait til the shade
got to THEM. When it moved off you, you're time was up! Have a glass of
wine and a coral reef to cool off.
Glass of wine
Coral reef
Have a magic day and forward it!
Magic Mike
parlor.htm
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food,
uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually
set it free in the first place,
you either married it or gave birth to it!
There was this guy who just got a new job as a school bus driver for elementary school children. He thought it would be nice to paint the school bus with characters from Sesame Street.
So, he painted Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, The Cookie Monster and so forth.
At his first stop, there was this very overweight little girl. He opened
the door and said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?"
The girl said that her name was Pattie.
Waiting at the next stop was another overweight little girl. He said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?"
She said that her name was Pattie also.
At the next stop, there was a grown woman and a little boy. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?"
The woman piped up and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son." She continued, "He is very, very special, so I want you to take extra good care of him."
The bus driver replied, "No problem. He can have this seat right behind
me and I can watch him really good in the mirror."
At the next stop, there was this little country boy standing there. The little boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his feet. The poor little boy had problems walking because of bunions all over his feet. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?"
The little boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese."
Well, little Lester picked at his bunions all the way to the school house, nearly driving the driver crazy.
Later that night, at home, his wife asked him how his first day on the new job was. The man replied: Well, I had Two Obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Cleese Picking Bunions On A Sesame Street Bus."The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour he is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad of recreations available.
He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.
All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The Angels come running in only to find the Pope huddled in his chair, crying to himself
and muttering, "An 'R'! The scribes left out the 'R'."
A particularly concerned Angel takes him aside, offering comfort, asks him what the problem is and what does he mean. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R'. They left out the 'R'. The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"Subject: Life is like photography -- you use the negative to develop
Date: Wed, 29 Jul 1998 10:51:04 +0000
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/ Hi!
dolphins
tulip petals
fractal night
cat and fishbowl
Have a Magic Day and pass it on.
Magic Mike http://funandmagic.com/photolinks.htm
DRIVE YOUR KARMA -- CURB YOUR DOGMA
Swami Beyondananada's Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment
1. Be a Fundamentalist -- ensure that the Fun always comes before the Mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided and the reason we are put in the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, which will ensure regularity.
2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift just for entering, so you are already a winner!
3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That's where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can change the channel.
4. Life is like photography -- you use the negative to develop. No matter what adversity you face, be reassured: the positive aspects will be revealed in the big picture.
5. It is true: As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears and cause a condition called "truth decay". Be sure to use mental floss twice a day, and when you're tempted to practice 'tantrum yoga', remember what we teach in the Swami's Absurdiveness Training Class: DON'T GET EVEN, GET ODD.
6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you and you no mad at me. That way there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. Peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there. Pretty soon all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.
7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes my advice is simple: When you find a fault don't dwell on it.
8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world and we'll never have to change it again.
9. If you're looking for the key to the Universe I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news: There is no key to the Universe. The good news: It was never locked.
10. Finally, everything I've told you is channeled. That way, if you don't like it it's not my fault. But remember: Enlightenment is not a bureaucracy, so you don't have to go through channels.
=========================
===A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his shop entrance.
But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why !
The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words :
Psycho- the- rapist.
=========================
==A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes the man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago and has done so for several years. The pharmacist asks man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product.
The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety.
The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push up bottom to use."Subject: Hot? Picture you're in a cool spot, like this Orca
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 21:56:46 -0700
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/
To: Magic Mike B and bcc's<mmb/
Hi!
I wish I had FOUR computers to put all these up as wallpaper! Below you'll
see the dangers of wrong numbers. Please tell me your favorites so far.
Or can't you :)
Be cool, and have a magic day! Pass it on.
Magic Mike http://funandmagic.com/photolinks.htm
Candles and mirror
Orca Whale jumping
Aurora Borealis
Cat's Eye Nebula
It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang.
"Hello?"
A girl's voice came over the line.
"Can I speak to Ben, please?"
I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number & I was bored.
"I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"
"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.
"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."
Silence on the other end...a confused silence.
"Is this Steve?"
My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number.
"Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"
"Well...he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him..." she said in a slightly irritated voice.
I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00."
A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"
"The girl he went out with."
"I know that! I mean...who is she?"
"I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?"
"Yes...please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home."
She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring.
"I sure will. Is this Jennifer?"
She exploded this time. "Who's Jennifer?"
Apparently she wasn't.
"Well...he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry...it was an honest mistake."
"Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's Very Upset and that I would Like Him to Call Me as Soon As He Gets Home."
I smiled and said, "Okay, I will...but Becky isn't going to like this..."
" Click "Subject: Tuesday pics and jokes
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 09:21:30 -0700
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/
To: Magic Mike B and Bcc's <mmb/
Hi!
Send jokes, bumper stickers, and photo links! I'll bet you can't choose
a favorite photo wallpaper your desk with! Here's four more hard choices.Have a day and pass it on!
Magic Mike
Two butterflies
Valley, town, train
Fractal teapot
Impact on Jupiter
The board of the Modern Library has named James Joyce's "Ulysses" the greatest English-language novel of the century...
"Ulysses" was chosen because it followed the board's criteria of being "highly influential, poorly written, confusing, and a springboard for making pretentious college freshman sound intellectual."
30 years after banning Thalidomide for causing horrific birth defects, the government has approved its use for the treatment of leprosy... Surprisingly, the government has found it necessary to warn women taking the drug to practice strict birth control, as apparently, there are men out there who are desperate enough to have sex with lepers.
The New York Stock Exchange briefly moved the date used by its computers forward to January 3, 2000 to see how stock trading might be affected by the so-called millenium bug... Although trading wasn't affected by the date change, some brokers were startled by the sudden and brief appearance of killer robots, jet-packs, and Jesus prematurely coming to Earth to judge all souls good and evil.
OH BARBIE!!!! A little girl was sitting on Santa's lap at a local mall. When Santa asked her what she wanted for Christmas, she answered, "A Barbie doll and a G.I. Joe." Santa, perplexed, said, "But little girl, Barbie comes with Ken. How about a Barbie and Ken doll?" "No, Santa. I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe." "But Barbie always comes with Ken." The little girl, with and exaggerated sigh, replied, "Barbie always comes with G.I.Joe. She fakes it with Ken."
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS." The preacher replied that he was sure it must be in there somewhere, and that he would look for it. The following week after service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read, "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
The Older Women
An older woman can wear any hat she chooses and nobody will laugh. A younger woman wearing the same hat will always look like a lampshade in a brothel.
An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night to ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.
An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.
An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.
An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea.
The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men.
Older women have superior sexual stamina.
An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes.
An older woman is into free sex!
An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover!
Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her.
An older woman puts herself on a pedestal.
An older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free if you act immature enough and hang around long enough. Older women can afford to support you.
An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know.
Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey.
An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you.
Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call.
Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial 967-1111.
An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas...
Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know.
Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.
Older women know what Kegel exercises are.
An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly boff later.
Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park.
Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.
An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them will want to boff you too.
An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride.
An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.Subject: Men are Lunatics, Women are Nuts
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1998 00:52:50 -0700
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/
To: Magic Mike B and Bcc's<mmb/
Hi!
I am sending a space shot, a landscape, and an animal. Have fun choosing.Have a Magic Day!
Magic Mike http://funandmagic.com/photolinks.htm
fractal misty mountains
African Highlands
Impact on Jupiter
sleeping leopard
color gears
Men are Lunatics, Women are Nuts
The Differences...
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
The Workplace...
When a man gives his opinion, he's a man.
When a woman gives her opinions, she's a bitch.
Relationships...
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are a man's best friend.
Now you know which sex is smarter.
Most men's primary fantasy is still, unfortunately, access to a number
of beautiful women.
For a man, commitment means giving up this fantasy.
Most women's primary fantasy is a relationship with one man who either
provides economic security or is on his way to doing so (he has "potential").For a woman, commitment to this type of man means achieving this fantasy.So commitment often means that a woman achieves her primary fantasy, while
a man gives his up.
Love...
Men always want to be a woman's first love.
Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last
romance.
The only way to understand a woman is to love her - and then it isn't necessary
to understand her.
To women, love is an occupation.
To men, a preoccupation.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand
her at all.
Marriage...
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to
let her have it.
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
The Battle...
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
On Men...
If you women knew what we were thinking, you'd never stop slapping us.
God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
Subject: fractal photos
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 1998 09:31:52 -0700
From: Magic Mike B and Bcc<mmb/
Hi,
For some reason Astonomy Pic of the Day changed URL's and it took someone
on this list to get me the new one. Thanks, Robin! But it caused me to
find the African pics, and also these new fractal pics. There will be more
to come. Here's two APOD's and two fractals for you.
fractal moonrise over water
fractal planet and moon
Hawaii from shuttle
N81: Starbirth in the SMC
Have a magic day and pass it on!
Magic Mike
http://funandmagic.com/photolinks.htm
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
LITTLE JOHNNY: Yes, sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
LITTLE JOHNNY: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have
to keep yours.
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
LITTLE JOHNNY: No, I'm LITTLE JOHNNY.
TEACHER: LITTLE JOHNNY, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? LITTLE JOHNNY: I get up early.
LITTLE JOHNNY: Teacher, would you punish me for something
I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
LITTLE JOHNNY: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.LITTLE JOHNNY: I hope you didn't either.
LITTLE JOHNNY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this
test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
NIT: Do you feel like a doughnut?
LITTLE JOHNNY: Of course not, do I look like one?
LITTLE JOHNNY: One dollar.
TEACHER (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
LITTLE JOHNNY (sadly): You don't know my father.
Subject: New wallpaper photo link webpage and jokesDate: Sun, 26 Jul 1998 21:35:12 -0700
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/
To: Magic Mike B and BCC's<mmb/
Hi!
Well, I've whipped up another web page dedicated to great desktop wallpaper
photos. Also I'm sending less content more often as most people don't like
to read too much at once. Since Alan Shepard's death Astro Pic of the Day
has stopped publishing so I've added scenic and wildlife pics. Since Monday
starts the work week, I think this is an appropriate pic for your desk
to get you in gear artistically.
Have a magic day and pass it on!
Magic Mike
http://funandmagic.com/photolinks.htm (New Page) Only in America, can a pizza
get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America, are there handicap parking places in front of a skating
rink.
Only in America, do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and
a diet coke.
Only in America, do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens
to the counters.
Only in America, do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.
Only in America, do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in America, do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages
of seven or eight.
Only in America, do we use the word "politics" to describe the
process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and
"tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".
A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie.
12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. (That's one every two hours.)
315 entries in Webster's Dictionary are misspelled.
A 10-gallon hat barely holds 6 pints.
A duck's quack doesn't echo.
A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel can.
A hard working adult sweats up to 4 gallons per day. Most of the sweat evaporates before a person realizes it's there, though!
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A jumbo jet uses 4,000 gallons of fuel to take off.
A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.
According to a British law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offense. Offenders could be hanged for trying.
Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice-president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard.
Almost a quarter of the land area of Los Angeles is taken up by automobiles.
"The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but no vision." Helen Keller
"In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my house via the cat flap." Gunter Burpus admitted to reporters in Bremen, Germany. "I suppose that the reason they're called cat flaps, rather than human flaps, is because they're too small for people, and perhaps... I should have realized that."
Burpus (41), a gardener from Bremen, was relating how he had become trapped in his own front door for two days, after losing his house keys. "I got my head and shoulders through the flap but became trapped fast around the waist. At first, it all seemed rather amusing, I sang songs and told myself jokes. But then I wanted to go to the lavatory. I began shouting for help, but my head was in the hallway so my screams were muffled.
After a few hours, a group of students approached me, but instead of helping they removed my trousers and pants, painted my buttocks bright blue, and stuck a daffodil between my cheeks. Then they placed a sign next to me which said 'Germany resurgent, an essay in street art. Please give generously'... and left me there.
People were passing by and, when I asked for help, they just said: 'Very good! Very clever!' and threw coins into my trousers. No one tried to free me. In fact, I only got free after two days because a dog started licking my private parts and an old woman complained to the police.
The rescue services came and cut me out, but the police arrested me as soon as I was free. Luckily, they've now dropped the charges, and I collected over DM3,000 ($2,000) in my underpants, so the time wasn't entirely wasted."Subject: Don't you just lava good joke?
Date: Sat, 25 Jul 1998 23:20:25 -0700
From: Magic Mike B <mmb/
To: Magic Mike B and BCC's<mmb/
Hi
I just lava good volcano picture at night. Don't you?
A Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment.
First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room. The next room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire. The new guy immediately asks to see the third room. It has an really old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a gorgeous blonde.
The guy jumps at the chance and takes the room. The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder and says "Okay, stop now you've been relieved."
The other night, I was chatting with a woman I met in
The Internet Gaming Zone. She had a log-on name of WhiteWings. While we
were chatting I decided to guess her name. In my mind I heard Lynn, then
Laura. I typed, "Your name is Laura".
She typed, "Picking mouth up off floor." Then she typed, "My
name is Loralynn". Have a magic day and pass it on!
Magic Mike
http://funandmagic.com/esp.htm
